Hey!

Its been a while since I've been on here, but I am back!
I hope all of you are doing well. I never really connected massively with any of you but I think that is because I was never on here! That would make sense....Well, I hope that changes!

How is everyoneee?

::EDIT::
National TWLOHA's Day is...Tomorrow >.<
I fail.

...Its on my arms.

Today is National "To Write Love On Her Arms" Day.
If you aren't sure what it is, Get informed!
www.twloha.com

Its a very powerful, uplifting, and moving story about a girl's 5 day journey from the darkest point of her life into deciding to rehabilitate herself and take charge of her life.



An outward expression of a very real movement, sweeping the nation!

Once again, I come back to my Xanga. Perhaps its to 'journal' out my thoughts and feelings, or perhaps its because I want my voice to be heard. I honestly have no idea. All I am aware of is that I have come to this 'New Weblog Entry' page about 5 times since Monday, and I am finally fulfilling my desire to post a new blog.

Lindsay and I, we no longer talk. She has been by my side, for everything for the last year and a half. She was a part of me. We were inseparable. She heard me whine about Christian and was there for that whole situation and has been at my beck and call for any and everything. I wish I could say I was as good a friend to her as she was to me, but I cant. I screwed her over so many times. I never saw it as that though. It was just me canceling plans we had made..but it was always so much more than just a hang out. Me and her connected. And I took it all for granted. I screwed our friendship up when I asked her to be 'with me'. That lasted all of 3 days, when the normal thing happened with me. I like her, till were together. And the second were together, those feeling go fleeting out the window and Im left, feeling obligated to date this person because I have been fawning over them for the past however long it has been. Lindsay knew what had happened however, and called me on it. She knew it from the second I asked her, and she knew when we kissed, my heart wasnt in it. I was too immature to admit to it. I lead her on and hurt her. Even after we patched things up, and were friends again - things werent the same.

I will always feel guilty for doing that, but it was an experience and it is one I will learn from and hold close to my heart when I do venture into a relationship later on in life.

Me and Lindsay have parted ways, at my request. We have no form of communication and I think if I even tried to contact her now, I would be ignored. And I deserve it. However, I have to make changes in my life and I needed to break away from Lindsay and the attachment I had to her and that was the only way I knew would work. It hurts yes, but I suppose change isnt always pleasant. In fact, most of the time its very painful, but we deal with it and move on.

Now, I just gotta make a few more changes...Ah - Sometimes I hate what Life makes me do >.<